Feeling a little nervous

In just 5 short days, I will find out what is hiding inside my belly and that makes me nervous, scared and happy all at the same time. You see, K only ever wanted 2 children and I always wanted 3 or 4. When we got married I said 2 was fine because that's what we compromised on. Well that changed when we were having twins. I LOVED being pregnant and wanted to do it again, morning sickness and all. I didn't want to only be pregnant once in my lifetime.

Having twins also changed K's mind as well. When we found out we were having 2 boys, he decided he wanted to try again for a girl. He has 2 nieces and sees his brother with 'daddy's little girls' and he wants to experience that and all the 'boy' stuff like little league, etc. Let's just say, he wants the best of both worlds.

We have looked forward to finding out what we were having since the day we surprisingly found out I was pregnant again and now that the day is almost here, I'm getting so very nervous and scared. What if it's another boy? Are we done like my husband insists on? If it's another boy, will I live the rest of my life wondering 'what if the next one would have been a girl'? I'm not sure I can live like that.

I may be getting ahead of myself here thinking about all this but that's what pregnancy hormones do, right? I guess I should be very happy that we got pregnant naturally when I was told I most likely wouldn't be able to. We tried for about 14 months for the boys before we turned to clomid and 50mg later, we had twins on the way. I really thought we'd have to do that again so after the 1st month of trying and no positive HPT, I went to the doctor and got my prescription to start taking. I waited and waited for my cycle to start so I could start clomid and SURPRISE, I was pregnant!

Maybe that was a sign of all the happiness to come. So far everything has been going ok set aside from the bleeding and clot I passed at 7 weeks. Maybe this pregnancy happening on it's own means we could have a girl even though somewhere deep down I was convinced K could only produce boys. Who knows what the future holds and why am I worrying about it?