Miss K is now 6 weeks old! *sigh* I have been loving every minute with her and bonding with her like I never got to do with the boys when they were teeny, tiny. Having 2 colicky babies screaming at once, you don't really get that 'bonding time', especially when you have bad post partum!
What has been weighing on my mind, though, is that our family is complete, done, el fin! I am actually pretty sad knowing that I won't have any more babies. Knowing that my reproductive chapter in my life is coming to an end. My hubs only wanted 2 children and I wanted 4 or more. We compromised at 3 partly because we got the '2 for 1' deal the first time around and wanted to try for a girl. Miss K was 'made' sooner than we thought which means she was in our lives sooner than we planned but we don't love her any less. It just means that our life is pretty damn crazy right now with a newborn and 2 toddlers that are in their (really) terrible two's!
I am very happy I had all my kids young, that I was and will be able to still be active with them and young enough still when they are graduating high school and possibly entering college. I do feel that we are complete with Kamdyn but it still doesn't make me long for just one more.
I don't want to sound selfish. That isn't me..........while having 3 is proving to be quite difficult with the ages they are all at and I get VERY frustrated and complain, I still love all of them and just think having another to give all my love to would be a dream to me! Since that isn't going to happen, I am moving on, closing this chapter and focusing on raising my children the best I can. I am thankful that my husband gave me 3 precious lives to love and I love our
1 comment:
I know how you feel. Hang in there.
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